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harpiercries [userpic]

Ow.

March 19th, 2006 (04:56 pm)
drained

current mood: drained
current song: "Butterflies," Toad the Wet Sprocket

I have a really, really bad headache. It is teh suck, especially since I was planning to spend this afternoon writing. But I guess it is not to be.

Bass workshop this morning reminded me how much I suck at--well, everything. Today is such a lovely day. I just want it to be tomorrow already. Because yoga, and shelving at the library.

It scares me that I am looking forward to a Monday. Must sleep now.

harpiercries [userpic]

Finis.

March 5th, 2006 (09:41 am)
melancholy

current mood: melancholy
current song: "The Java Jive," the Manhatten Transfer

It's over. It's really, really over. I can't believe it.

Yesterday, at four o'clock in the afternoon, the last show I will ever be in at this school came to an end. Four months of late night rehearsals, of bruised knees and twisted ankles and sore backs, of missed homework, all culminated in a two night run with a full house both days. It went well, considering. I think it was considerably better than any of our rehearsals would suggest. But now, I'm just depressed.

Over the past four months, Fiddler was the only thing that kept me going. I could put up with patronizing teachers. I could ignore bitchy students insulting me. I could deal with exhaustion and depression and fearing next year, just so long as I knew that at four every day, I would walk into the auditorium and fall into character on that stage that had been a comfort to me ever since I started at this school and not drop back out until seven. None of the theatre people were hateful and scathing. Theatre didn't make my brain hurt.

And now, it's over. I am alone to cope with the trials of school. I sit everyday through classes I hate, barely being able to concentrate because I'm worrying about whether any of my friends are going to attempt suicide like last year, whether anyone has guessed that I'm a lesbian, and how the hell I am going to pass this math test. I miss the feeling of the stage beneath my feet and the lights on my face already, and it's only one day.

The end of the show has really brought to the front of my mind how much my life is changing. Next year, I will be a freshman in high school, and that makes me feel incredibly old and incredibly young all at once. People tell me it will be better, and objectively I believe them, but I still need people to reassure me. I don't how I am supposed to be. I care about stuff too much. I wonder if that will matter less or more in high school.

I will join an entirely new theatre department next year. There will be new rules to learn and new places to perform. New people to work with. It is wonderful and frightening.

I can't believe it's over.

harpiercries [userpic]

Tech Week

February 22nd, 2006 (06:17 am)
cranky

current mood: cranky
current song: "Mad World," Gary Jules

Teching school shows is hell on Earth. Every day, I have to spend almost twelve hours at school, four of which are in rehearsal. It wouldn't be so bad if people would actually focus. But, it's just a school show, so half of everyone is just standing around cracking jokes and impeading the progress of everyone else. We have five rehearsals left. It is now time to panic.

You know what also sucks? The way our teachers refuse to acknowledge that we're tied up rehearsing until ridiculously late, and therefore do not have time for all their idiotic homework. Mr. Lindsey is especially bad-- if you tell him about tech, or about some band concert you have to play in, or some other major event, what does he immediately do? He doubles your homework.

I hate school shows. I'd quit this one, but then I'd be in theatre withdrawl. Maybe next year will be better.

harpiercries [userpic]

I want a time machine.

February 18th, 2006 (07:43 am)
content

current mood: content
current song: "Butterflies," Toad the Wet Sprocket

It should be next year now. The theatre people came to our school and they rocked. Seriously, it was like this distillation of awesomeness. They're much more movement based than traditional theatre, and they try to incorporate the members' outside talents into their pieces as much as possibly. Which is cool, because I am still in undying love with juggling.

I will be them next year.

In other news, I totally just realized that the protagonists two best friends in Mean Girls? Are basically all of my friends concentrated into two people. Wow.

harpiercries [userpic]

(no subject)

February 15th, 2006 (07:14 am)
bitchy

current mood: bitchy
current song: "Happy New Year," RENT

I'm so tired I can barely stand upright, let alone walk to the bus. I've no idea why I'm so exhausted. I blame the government. And also those idiots yesterday with their giving flowers to each other and whining when they only got two. Well, two is still bigger than zero, fuckers.

However! I have a new book of Pablo Neruda, and that makes it all better. Ish.

Is it just me, or is Spanish Italian with typos? Spanish is pretty when spoken but not when written, but Italian is both.

harpiercries [userpic]

Sickly sweet

February 14th, 2006 (08:33 pm)
exhausted

current mood: exhausted
current song: "Days Go By," Dirty Vegas

Happy beheaded saint's day, all. I never realized how vaguely depressing Valentine's was until this year. Though that may have something to do with missing my fluoxetine for three days straight. Meh.

...I miss Sarah.

harpiercries [userpic]

Copyrights

February 12th, 2006 (06:57 am)
thoughtful

current mood: thoughtful
current song: "Where is my Mind?" the Pixies

Lately I've been reading about copyright law. I'm worried that if I post any writing... there go my first publication rights. Does anyone know anything about this? I'm thinking that maybe I'm just being paranoid as a result of having an attorney for a father.

harpiercries [userpic]

C'est la vie.

February 11th, 2006 (06:41 pm)
bored

current mood: bored
current song: "Walking witha Ghost," Tegan and Sara

Today, I got hit on the head. With a vacuum. Aren't I just the epitome of grace?

So yesterday my school had this social/dance thing. I got dragged there by Ian, who made Harper wear the wedding dress her grandmother gave her for her 14th birthday. It was... interesting. The music was very loud and very bad, so we ditched it for a while and ran around in the snowy courtyard. Then, Miranda and I went back in and harassed the DJ. I don't think he liked us very much.

After the school thing, we headed to Hanna's, which would have been exponentially simpler had my dad not come to pick me up at the school and started freaking out when I told him I was going to go to Hanna's instead of home. But oh, well. Hanna gave me manga, and we locked Ian and Olivia in a closet.

I think I'm a bad person. For everyone else, locking them in the closet was a joke. For me it was that too, but it was also kind of revenge for our... history.

Ian is gross. If he ever comes near me again I will beat him with a stick.

So, for anyone who has continued to read this lengthy and pointless post, I shall conclude with: a bientot et merci pour tout les poissons.

harpiercries [userpic]

hmm...

January 28th, 2006 (05:51 pm)
depressed

current mood: depressed
current song: "Strawberry Fields," the Beatles

I'm depressed because Sarah called. She totally ruined my post-writing high. Damn it. Maybe it'll be better after I watch The Man Who Wasn't There.

Oh, and I got twelfth place. Woohoo.

harpiercries [userpic]

District

January 27th, 2006 (04:36 pm)
excited

current mood: excited
current song: "Gravity," the Dresden Dolls

So the Power of the Pen district tournament is tomorrow. Historically, I suck at district, so I'm just going to try to do well enough to get to regionals. Last year, I got first at regionals and eigth at state, but didn't place at all in district. You can find me on the list of winners at the Power of the Pen website, here.

And OMG. I am having this uberweird feeling that maybe, just maybe, Harper likes girls, too. That would rock.

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